The IT book

Just got mail from big bookstore inviting me to event where ex-IT honcho (according to PR) who has written life-defining book will be launching his book and be in conversation with ex-BPO honcho who has looked at the intense trials and tribulations of the BPO industry in his previous book. Since it's in the evening and I'd be unable to go and attend such a stimulating event thanks to lack of babysitting, I decided to waste my time on the computer by imagining the conversation. Please read at your own risk.

Ex-BPO: Hello Sir famous ex-IT honcho, what prompted you to write this book?

Ex-IT: You know I was always stuck in Bangalore's horrible traffic jams while getting back from work and used to be so bored. After all, there's only a point up to which you can pretend to be busy on the laptop, play with your iPod, etc. Calling up friends I had no time to call otherwise was a big no as it used to be only around 7.45 PM and I didn't want them to think I waslukhkhaand had absolutely no work. Which was the truth but cannot be admitted after all, right? In fact, there have been times when I have left the office at 5 and deliberately taken the stairs from the 10th to the ground floor and then admired the fountains in the office buildings, the leather Italian sofas in the reception before proceeding to Coffee Day downstairs and placing the most complicated order I could think of. Since those buggers take several minutes to process any request other than for simple cappuccino, this way I was able to waste precious time before reaching the exit gate and calling my driver to get the car around at the (almost) respectable hour of 6.30. In fact, there are times when I have asked the driver to stop at 3 ATMs on the way home even if I had money in my pocket just so that I'd not reach home before 8.30 or 9. After all, my wife also has to maintain standards with her kitty friends and tell everybody how late her husband comes home, right? The pity is that I don't even travel much so she's really not left with much topic for conversation. Oh sorry, I'm really blabbering a rather lot, aren't I?

Ex-BPO: That's alright sir. It's good for the heart. So your book came out of these traffic jams, did it?

Ex-IT: You could say it did. As I saw the beggar woman hold her bowl near the car window, the grumpy looking driver of the big Volvo bus honking behind my Scorpio, the autorickshaw driver who looked like a copy of the Kannada hero Upendra, people standing in queues for buses as us lucky ones in cars whizzed by stuttered by, I realised how uncertain life was. You could be here one day and there next. And you could be anyone, autorickshaw Upendra or Volvo driver or person who had to wait for bus even if it was over crowded. It gave me meaningful insights into people's lives and I decided to turn it into a book.

Ex-BPO: How interesting. But didn't you also describe your experiences of working in the IT sector in the book?

Ex-IT: Of course I did. I didn't mean to first but since I also wrote most of the book in office (a great way to motivate yourself to stay back beyond 5.30) parts of it kept getting in. I also realized it was beneficial for my ego. When I went to the canteen at 7.30 to get a cup of tea instead of my earlier 4.30, the canteen man looked at me with utmost respect and said in a worshipful voice, "working late sir?' The best part was hearing my wife tell her cousin on phone that I was very busy and working very late, so she would see if we'd be able to make it to their house for dinner on a weekday. It almost makes up for the non travelling part.

Ex-BPO: There are some memorable characters in the book. Are they from real life?

Ex-IT: Shhh...my ex-boss' wife is at the reading. (Loudly) Of course not. Though I must say it was inspired by different instances and people I came across at home, shopping malls, get-togethers. Not at the office. The setting was inspired by my office though. It's such a boring beautiful steel and glass building that it's difficult not to get inspired.

Ex-BPO: You were inspired by your office building?

Ex-IT: Yes, why not? Also by the security checks at the entrance, the ban on camera phones, the smart looking identity card...

Ex-BPO: I'm speechless sir.

Ex-IT: Are you being sarcastic?

Ex-BPO: No sir. I'm too moved to speak. In fact I thought I was the only one inspired to write by these smart looking office things. Now that I find a kindred soul I'm overcome by emotion to talk. Why sir, in my book 'BPO Baby,' I have devoted one entire chapter to the office I-card, how it defines your professional personality and inspires sameness, the problems if you lose it. I've also talked about the almost dress code like adherence to blue shirts and brown/black pants by men in corporate world Sir. I've had people sending me fan mail saying how much they appreciated the deep thought process and insight that went to writing that particular part.

Ex-IT: I can understand. I myself am very attached to the episode where the department shifts from C-Wing to B-Wing and the employees had to abruptly switch over to new ways of sitting, dual screen monitors, new desks, chairs, cubicles and coffee machines, etc. It was an evolution that took some time to get used to resulting in interesting dramas and developments. For instance, there's this character who has a horrible day that starts because she's unable to figure out the new and complicated Italian self-vending coffee machine in the corridor and it sets of a chain of events. Also the B Wing being nearer to the new Indo-Chinese-Thai restaurant outside the office complex, I was able to weave in a romantic angle as well.

Ex-BPO: Yes sir, I can totally understand. And it helps to have seen these things first hand. For example, Cafe Coffee Days play a big role in all my novels, because they are the breeding ground of blooming office romance. I have seen it Sir.

Ex-IT: Exactly. I'm touched by your understanding and I'm sure that there are many more like you. This is the reason why more of us from the IT/BPO sector need to come out, write and share these experiences with our fellow readers.

Audience member: Sir, could you please share some tips for successful writing and getting published?

Ex-IT: Sure. Should be based in office. Should have one frustrated protagonist who doesn't get a promotion or the girl in the beginning. Allow a lot of scandal and gossip to flourish. Maybe a suicide but not at the workplace. Give some real life instances like off sites, team outings in the evenings which make great setting for clandestine stuff, office lunches, team dinners, etc. Write about things people identify with like bad boss, good mentor at workplace, traffic jams and mix in some jargon like brand extensible, web-enabled applications, etc., to show your audience that you know your stuff. The story will write itself.

AM: But sir, what about those lesser fortunate Volvo drivers, people waiting at bus stops? I couldn't find them in your book!

Ex-IT: Oh that. See they gave me this germlike germ of an idea which developed into something different. But don't worry. Someone will write about them too. What are Indian authors based in foreign countries for?