Get up late as a result of last night's impromptu dinner at home with friends. Rue fact that no longer wake up late because of hangover but because of non-cooperating body parts despite the lack of alcohol.
Start morning on frenzied note as son's playschool has 'Hygiene' as the in-house dress-up theme. Try cutting shape resembling toothpaste and toothbrush out of chart paper and silently vow to become super organized mum with special drawer+desk for school tasks done five days in advance. Also vow never to have impromptu parties.
Child refuses to wear toothbrush. Tears toothpaste cap.
Reach school. Happily dump child in hands of enthusiastic young teacher (EYT). Who also looks mildly surprised. Must be the bad brush cutout. Watch in utter envy as EYT makes child wear both brush and paste WITHOUT A WHIMPER and shows him off to everyone. Resists urge to do a 'Why Me why me why me' dance on the spot and head home.
Start work. Continue for five minutes.
Answer doorbell. Has 10 minute mime show with presswala who speaks only Telugu. Finally realize he wants last week's balance. Try to remember what balance was and why it isn't paid but cannot. Finally hand over the obscene amount of money demanded. Vow to become organized homemaker with meticulous expense diary keeping skills.
Work for 15 minutes.
Answer doorbell. Maid's sister gleefully informs that didi won't be coming today. Sprints for the lift before being asked to work.
Shut laptop and head to kitchen. Stare blankly at pile of vessels. Spend eternity scrubbing. Also do jhadoo though for an insane moment think of saving that for the child. After all, he's always chasing the maid for the damn thing isn't he?
Leave home to collect child. Get lectured by child's class teacher for not sending cap and school T-shirt, required necessities for field trip. Erm...what field trip? Wasn't it the fancy dress?
Frantically hunt child's bag for clues. The toothbrush is for tomorrow. The field trip was today.
Hide forever.
19 comments:
Henry told me to send you this note-
"I am sorry to say this... forcing your child look like a toothpaste before a field trip has traumatised him for ever.
Sincerely,
Dr. Henry Jekyll."
--Hyde
Hyde! Shall get him to you to cure trauma, don't worry. Next plan: To turn him into cherry. Yam mummy, we do such things.
:)So it was a field day for the other kids..whichever way you look at it. Take heart! It was just a toothbrush and he is at a age where he can't sue for damages.
I mean you could have always thought of sanitary napkin
Roller-coaster ride isn't it? Where you zip past one level to another without getting to be at one place in a relaxed manner (while others at ground level assume you are having fun all the while).
Alpha: Thank you for your valuable SN suggestion. Shall be implemented next time.
Signed,
Lost it Mom
Barkha: Yes, it is completely. But a fun roller coaster ride despite the mayhem.
I know it sounds sick... but laughed and fell off the chair... :) And tomorrow is another day. All the best.
bluespriite: I would have laughed too. I did actually :D. and thank you
busy mother bee.. and how you be doing ?? LOng time.. :)
Pallavi: Hi, yes long time. Milte hain :)
Wow!!!! You worked... I wish I had that discpline. I would have probably been reading this and that on the web.
Wow!!!! You worked... I wish I had that discpline. I would have probably been reading this and that on the web.
Wow!!!! You worked... I wish I had that discpline. I would have probably been reading this and that on the web.
Colours: 'Worked' has several meanings in my dictionary ;-p
ok!! you so have to write more often!!! :)
i had such a laugh reading this!!!
ok! ok! i know my time will come to!! but till then i can laught at ya!! eh?!
cheers!
abha
Abha: Go ahead. Mera number bhi ayega!
Hilarious (for a spectator, that is). So he went on a field trip wearing the Toothbrush costume?!!
quite some adventure...eh?great read though!
Parmanu: Yes, as Alpha said, the other kids had a field day. Joking...no the teachers were sensible enough even if the mother wasn't :)
Saurav: Thankoo
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