Oh we're attacking the Sri Ram Sene, Yediyurappa and any moralistic political bugger all right but we've forgotten the handsome, yuppy puppy boy next door. He's the one who is part of your fun gang when you start going to pubs after work; he's the one hailing the autos for you at midnight and dropping you home (in these days of easy loans he probably has a car); he's the one going out with you for a late sunday hangover healing breakfast;he's the one who likes you, hasn't quite met anyone like you but won't take you home to mummy. Not even when you are sober. Coz you see, it's alright for him to take his sorry ass to the pub when he's tired after a long day's work but when you do that, you automatically get struck off as ideal wife material from his long-standing mental list. To make the cut you need to go home straight from work (after politely saying NO to all those loose moraled girls who want you to come out and drink), change into cute striped pajamas, eat your chapatis and spend your time watching 'First Ladies' or HBO. On the days you are out with him, you need to ensure you have nothing more incriminating than a Cranberry Breezer. A beer? Certainly not. Ciggies? Look around, I think he's run away already. So why just rant on the Sene in TV debates. Deep down in their hearts, most Indian men (and several women) still believe drinks and decency do not mix.
A very good friend got dumped by her handsome, supposedly cool, liberal boyfriend a while ago. The reason? He didn't really feel she could be the 'family type.' Now that they were talking marriage, he felt she needed to sober down a bit. Not too many long hours at work, not too much after work bonding with the girls, not too much this, not too much that. It's not commitment phobia. It's hypocrisy. Trying to mould someone to your skewed idea of what's moral and what's not, despite the fact that you aren't exactly following them. My friend is sad but thankfully had the guts to walk out of the relationship. So we are off to celebrate. In true 'pub culture' tradition of course.
22 comments:
Very well-said!
Subs
I would dearly love to launch my Super Bobbit Party (SBP) and get away with cutting dicks off because I think they're against civilised culture.
Kahini
there you go showing a completely different angle! and hitting where it hurts the most!
what you say is so so true.
cheers!
abha
My litmus test. Ask to see what his sister is like. Is she 'allowed' to do all the same things he does. If not, dump him. A guy who has grown up surrounded by such hypocrisy is unlikely to change.
No sister? Find out if his Dad respects his Mom.
Not fool proof, but gives reasonably accurate results.
Subs: Thankee
Kahini: Tee hee...yes and we could make a list, couldn't we?
Abha: Well I was really angry when I wrote that. But I do believe it's true, yes.
Indian home maker: You're right. But what if she never reaches the sister or mom scene?
Completely true... and a sorry state of affairs.. someone even suggested they were beaten up because they were sitting with Muslim men! Yay what a nice, broad-minded society we live in.
Standing Ovation.
Two bachelor boys from work were scandalized yesterday when I said something about a married woman's "choice" about where to stay if her husband were posted in Siachen for 2 years. Have strongly advised the duo against marriage for the greater good of everyone.
I know the kind. Unfortunately, I know both men AND women who are like that. Education has *nothing* to do with it. Neither does experience. No matter how many books they've read or the number of countries they've traveled to, their core "values" are the same.
Respected Indian ladies who ve commented ---
How would you ve felt if ur daughter or sister had gone to a pub,danced around semi naked with guys,getting high!?!?!
Have some respect towards Indian Culture.
For god sake stop aping westerners!!!
Yediurappa,Gehlot,NCW,Rama sene are here to stay!!
Get used to this or GET OUT
@Anonymous whatever else I might have wanted if it was MY daughter or me or my sister or my mother - I would have NEVER wanted some criminals to try to teach them about our culture and tear at their clothes or beat them.
Read This.
Nowhere is it written in our culture that men can BEAT women to teach them anything... or do you believe in Manusmriti?
Do you really believe these men with pending criminal cases against them touched girls and pulled at their clothes to teach them about culture?
It was a premeditated attack, cameras were waiting, and elections are also waiting. So who do they victimize? Innocent citizens who believe political parties should be voted in not for providing infra structure, education, food and water, safety of women, but for safe guarding criminal gangs for votes. These men are still free and threatening more women - and they would have NEVER been such brave hearts if they did not have political support.
Do you know about drug use amongst the poor, in the slums? DO you realise people in India don't like to have daughters because of such incidences? Girls are people, individuals, equal citizens -they are not the only sentries of our culture.
If it's YOUR culture you look after it yourself, don't force other citizens who might prefer a life style that you dislike or find scandalous, it's not for you and me to teach them how to live. And definitely not some lecherous, filthy criminal who loved the opportunity to lay his hands on these girls. By excusing men like him today we are giving a chance to millions like to him to rape any girl and then say they were trying to save a culture.
Do these men work for rehabilitation of prostitutes or the poor in villages, or do they only each lessons where publicity and money is possible?
Are you aware that drug and alcohol abuse is common amongst the rural areas also? Specially amongst men.
@Indian Homemaker:
Get your facts right before commenting..Dont use words like "rape" so loosely..Nobody wanted to rape the girls in the Mlore attack.
I agree manhandling girls was NOT right.Action should be taken against ppl who did this.The intentions were right.Ravishankar,Osho,Buddha,Zen every wise man in the history has condemned alcoholism.
Pls gimme one source of information which tells Drinking alcohol is good.Is this the kind of liberation which Indian women want.I don't think so.Deep inside nobody wants this.
@anonymous: If you think you're views are so right, then why are you anonymous? And if alcoholism was condemned, WHY were the men in the club left alone? why were only the women attacked? And you say Buddha has condemned alcoholism, when did he advocate violence? When did he say it's ok to hit women and molest them if the INTENTION is good?! and what exactly WAS the intention? WHO are YOU to decide what i want to do with MY life? Suppose I decide to force my views on you? Bet the idea of peace Live and Let Live never crossed your mind.
Bluespriite: It seems the more we progress, the more intolerant we get. Anonymous below is living up to it.
Inky: Thank you. Read the boys a no marriage sermon everyday. Amen.
Sonia: Agree, agree.
Anon: What a pity I saw your cowardly comments only now. But Indian Home Maker and Sonia have given you a fitting reply. Nobody is using any word 'loosely' here except you. Keep your misguided 'morals' to yourself, do us all a favour and get lost.
IHM and Sonia: Thankie girls
Sigh.. I was also ranting in similar vein.. these &#!@%@# who think they know best have done it all themselves. I say stone them.. and chase them away.. thats what used to happen in the olden days of the kings and queens right ??
Commitment phobia.. all crap..
good you had a drink on that... buhahah... women have better things to do than brood over undeserving idiots.
Ah! Now I know who to touch on when I am in Bangalore next.
Indian Home maker: I think they would want freedom for their sister but will still be conservative when it comes to themselves.
Don't all this stem out of inseurity? Why are our men so insecure?
Why are our women so dumb???The fact that women wanna match everything men do.. indirectly suggests tht you think men are superior!!
To Anon: It suggests no such thing. We don't want to match up (or down)to men. We just want to do our own thing. If we want to drink, we drink. If we want to wear jeans and spaghetti strap tops, we do it. If we want to wear a sari and sindhoor, we do that too. We just don't want others (be it men OR women) to stop us from doing what we want to. We are adults with brains and we can choose for ourselves. Unfortunately, there exists a lot of double stds in society where "our" women, as you say, are told they shouldn't do the things they want to solely because they are female.
@Sonia:U want to ve a free society where everybody is allowed to do what they want.If u can justify your acts and do whatever you think is right then god save our society.Then why do we ve court n the justice system,a murder says he was right in his killing!!.That is why we ve Police who are there to protect us from ppl who brake the law and that's why we ve organizations such as Rama Sene who are there to protect our culture and traditions!!
anon: So you think the Ram sena was molesting women, hitting them, and harrassing them with lewd messages to UPHOLD Indian culture is it?
And since when did you and your kind care about the law? You are well aware that hitting another individual is against the law don't you? So how it is ok for you to break the law?
And by wearing whatEVER i want and drinking, i'm not harming anyone else. So what does it matter to YOU?
Live and LET live.
Yo Sonia!
Anon: You obviously can't read.I told you to keep your dirty paws off my blog didn't I?
Sorry Rash! Got a bit carried away. *sigh* No use talking to these buggers.
It's ok Sonia. Thanks though as I'm too lazy to check comments regularly :)
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