The Well Wishers

Well…If you’ve read UTG’s this one's quite similar!

I’m easily annoyed. Have a short fuse that blows up without warning, especially when I’m being given unsolicited advice and facing an inquisition into my private life. And when you live in a country where nobody minds their own business, are married and pushing 30, the advice comes pouring in torrents. It starts with decorating oneself post-marriage. ‘But beta, you don’t look married at all. Thoda sa lipstick laga liya hota…’ cribs Pimmi Aunty from the balcony-next-door. Never mind that this is seven in the morning and you’ve only roused yourself from sleep because the milkman rang the bell too many times.
Pimmi gives way to the others. ‘Why do you need a job? Your husband earns well enough!’ says retired baldie uncle. You gently remind him that you’ve always worked. Ever since you graduated at least. ‘So?’ he retorts, ‘You weren’t married then!’
A couple of years pass. Your marriage is now old enough to contemplate divorce. You chicken out instead and decide to buy a flat. This creates a stir. Why are you moving? Wasn’t this house large enough? Why live in a flat when you have a large place here? Do you get along with your mother-in-law?
You show heartless disregard but the well-wishers won’t stop. ‘Now that you have a house of your own, isn’t it time to have a baby?’ they chorus. Miraculously the intense questioning (why we haven’t had a baby yet, do we want one, what are my bowel movements like, etc) are reserved for that magic moment when I’m left alone with the female. Child production to most Indian women seems a one-sided job. Men aren’t supposed to be bothered.
The funny thing is, all these CBI type intense questioning isn’t seen as rude but concerned. And it must be deep-rooted in our veins because age is no bar here.
Years ago, a cousin who promised never to have an arranged marriage (what a prehistoric practice, oppressive to women, blah blah) said yes to the first IIT-IIM-NRI boy who came along. When I called to congratulate her, she was quick to come to the point: You should agree to an arrange marriage you know. These are the ones that last!
Cousin is separated now and though I may sound like a bitch, I do feel bad that it didn't work out. Last heard, she was passing off valuable nuggets to still-in-school little sister. 'Never opt for an NRI guy. And stay away from an arranged marriage!'