Things I want to say in idiotic self-appraisal forms but can’t…

Describe your three major achievements in the last one year:
*Discovered blogs and made friends
*Extensively surfed the net (when your goddamned server allowed it) and found interesting details about travelling in Corsica, jobs in BBC (am overqualified, of course) etc
*Explored and identified restaurants around the workplace

Identify your major strengths
*Ability to survive in claustrophobic environment without air-conditioning for long hours
*High endurance level for salt less, bland canteen food (Strengthens the soul)
*Ability to survive without the Internet or office mail for ONE WHOLE DAY!
*Ability to work efficiently on 300-year-old computer with non-working speakers (Can you even imagine the agony when I get a forward with sound?)

Identify areas where guidance is required
*How to blog and work simultaneously without getting distracted from either
*How to browbeat canteen guy into making edible stuff
*Technical guidance on uploading new comment box, links, etc on the blog

Career ambitions
*Naturally, being the top boss. Do you even need to ask?

Would you prefer a job rotation? If yes, where?
*Yes. We can start with the cooler climes in Himachal (put me up at the Wildflower Hall), move up to Leh, wind down to Goa and zip off to Hong Kong, Venice, Barcelona, Reykjavik, Sun City, London, New York…(You said rotation, remember?)

Suggestions
Many. First, get one of those zany coffee machines they have in MNCs these days. The ones with everything from café au lait to espresso shots. And get clean mugs to match.
* While you are at it, also get a new café, with comfy, loungable sofas. Stock café with everything workplace hunger-pangs can dream of.
* Sanction a spa cum salon. We need to look presentable. Give the loo a makeover. Keep scented towels, little bottles of lotions and perfumes in a basket, etc. Also invest in a full-length mirror.
* Increase my salary eightfold. Remember I’ll be your boss soon.