One Size Bigger

I’ve been thin all my life. Stick-insect, that’s what Bridget Jones would call me, even though I don’t have the figure to show for it. All my life, I have been responsible for increasing sales at the children’s section of most stores, and the person behind the nasty comments about the useless women’s section in the comment book.
And all my life, I have felt left out of girlie conversations when it came to weight watch. While other girls talked about reducing their hips and buying jeans one size larger or celebrated when certain body parts went a size smaller, I sulked and sat silently, having nothing to add to the conversation. Among other things, I haven’t progressed beyond a certain waist size, the last many, many years. More than being boring, it has meant fewer excuses to go shopping.
The Girth Goddess seems to have finally looked up.
Some Sundays ago, a friend and me trotted off to buy some clothes in a Gurgaon mall. I spotted a pair of black trousers (ultimate weakness) and confidently trudged off to the changing room with MY size. Imagine my alarm, when it refused to move up my hips, no matter how much I tugged. Must have hogged too much at lunch, I thought, and gave up.
I went back the other day to the same shop, to try on the same pair of black trousers, in the same size (and didn't have a heavy lunch)…and finally had the all-important, must-have female experience. The trousers refused to budge beyond a certain point.
IT HAD HAPPENED FINALLY!
The waist had wavered! It had moved beyond the S/XS size and gone straight to M. I had a moment of natural female consternation. Yikes! I had put on weight! I’m fat! Must stop eating! Must join the gym, etc etc.
But at the bottom of it all, I was overjoyed. My excuse was here at last. I rushed out of the changing room and demanded gleefully that I needed a size larger. There was a perfect figured stick insect standing bang opposite who eyed me with horror but I was beyond care. This was an occasion to celebrate. With perhaps the entire lot of medium sized trousers!