Read Alert!

I love reading. Will read anything under the sun at any given point. Bedtime, breakfast table, potty, train, bus, autos, flights, restaurants, coffee shops, bookshops, the doctors, movie theatre, five-star lounge, interstate bus stop…you name the place and I have pored over the book there. Apart from being my favourite hobby, a book is my guardian angel when I wan’t to avoid or escape or forget an undesirable situation.

Take for instance, bad movies. In Bombay, we were a huuuuge group of friends and sometimes when the bonding reached great heights all of us went to a movie together, whether you wanted to watch that particular film or not.

But I had my way out! When the film happened to be intolerable (Jackie Chan, Govinda, horror film, highly intellectual type movie, etc) all I did to survive death by boredom was to sit outside in the lobby with a book and pretend it had to return to the library the very next day and I had to finish it, or else…

Some may call it insecurity or impatience but if I have to wait anywhere even for a minute, I need something to read on my lap. It works wonders. Nobody bothers you with silly questions like what’s the time, are you waiting for the dentist, where’s the loo, do you have two legs, etc, because you never look up! You’re also spared the forced ‘polite conversation’ that invariably happens when three or more people are waiting in a confined space with nothing much to do. They probably think I’m the rude, anti-social type. Suits me fine.

At home, books have always been my road to salvation. If P and I have had a fight, I promptly open the most romantic or hilarious stuff I can find and dig deep. This has two advantages. I forget fight has happened and that he is a male who won’t analyse our relationship to the minutest detail that it deserves. A good read also keeps me silent. Thus ensuring peace and happiness all around!

Books are my knight in a jacket when I’m travelling — by air or road. Since I’m God’s chosen one to sit next to the strangest people on earth, books come handy in more ways than one. On a flight for instance, I forget that I’m suspended mid-air. And I can avoid conversation. I don’t know what is it with me, but ninety percent of the times, the person next to me is a lady who wants to know every detail of my life, a man who creepily asks if I’m going (?) for business or pleasure or someone who hasn’t bathed in three months.
I once sat next to a teenager on a Bombay-Goa flight who wanted to speak about her love for Aamir Khan non-stop. At such times, a book is the best protection. The fatter the better. Look serious, turn the pages and ignore. When airhostess approaches, distractedly pick up with orange juice/water giving impression that you are lost to the outside world.

Golden rule: Don’t chuckle to yourself, however funny the book is. It elicits questions like, ‘Aap kyun has rahi hai?’ to even ‘Everything alright, you not crying are you?’

Heartless, am I? Thing is, I have no desire to form strong attachments in four hours flat. Unless of course it’s a super-hot man. No one like that has ever sat next to me. Never!